In the past several weeks, God has been changing my mind about God.
It started when I asked God to show me how people who don’t believe in God feel and why. This was a dangerous prayer, but I am a person who needs divine help to have sympathy and compassion.
That prayer/thought began an excruciating process of personal transformation and mind changing. It’s difficult to explain because it was all in my head and not a story, really. Despite how painful and terrifying it was, I kept having these random feelings that it was going to render a breathtakingly beautiful truth. As far as I can tell, I’m at least past the most painful, humbling part, and what God was whispering of truth has made me new.
The process was mostly painful because it cracked my mind wide open. Most people around me while I was growing up frowned upon the phrase “open-mindedness.” I’m not sure why, and I hate to make assumptions about them. I just know that it caused me to have negative connotations for the phrase. However, in these weeks, my mind has been set free to think these gigantic thoughts without being afraid I would make God angry with me.
Take a thousandth look at Romans 12:2. It says, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”
You may have never struggled with letting God crack your mind open. I have a friend to whom I often say, “You were born free, and I was born in chains.” Some people naturally think big, scary thoughts and believe unpopular things without flinching. For me, with my background, thoughts and beliefs have been sadly limited. You’ll learn more about why if you keep reading this blog. I pray that you do keep reading. I pray that your mind will be opened, or at least you enjoy hearing about that process for me.
After much consideration, today is the day. I have disassociated this blog with any group. While I hope that no one is hurt by this, I believe that it will transform this blog into a new space for the thoughts God gives me. This way no one else is held accountable for the audacious things that may come from this freed mind—one that God changed about God.